Where do you see yourself in 5 years? What about in just one? Where will you be a month from now? In many of my posts, you have read my views on these questions, and my lack of answers for many of them. It was a little over a month ago, when a good friend of mine asked me one such a question, more specifically the last one: Where will you be a month from now?
When he asked me this question at the beginning of January, I wasn’t in a very good, or stable place. My resolution this year was to be more truthful, and a part of that was revealing to my loved ones that I have been depressed for some time. When my friend asked me this question, I couldn’t see where I would be the next day, let alone a full month from then.
My original answers were vague and un-informative, however this only spurred my friend forward. He has a unique personality that brings out the best in people, wither you would like it to or not. Persistent and forceful, he didn’t give up on me. But my depressive mood persisted as well. Even as he argued that I needed to be more active in life, my own degrading self worth told me otherwise.
All of this was discussed with my therapist (another resolution was to seek out help). Through our discussions about this, he made it clear to me that I have been still and stagnant to the point of becoming comfortable with staying in one place. Due to a couple of different factors, I built a comfort zone that included only myself and actively excluded everyone else.
When I realized this, something happened that I didn’t expect. I changed my mind.
I made the decision at the end of January that I was going to be somewhere different in a week. I was going to break myself out of my comfort zone and take my friend up on his offer. You see, when my friend asked me where I was going to be in a month, he was checking to see if my schedule would allow me to take a trip with him and eight others, a trip that he’s been planning for months.
So, with the onset of February, I found myself on a plane headed out on a new adventure. I was headed to a holiday, specifically centered around losing ones inhibitions, climbing out of your shell, and leaving no regrets as you prepare for change and reformation. I would be seeing a new city, a new lifestyle, all while experiencing the festivities with friends and brothers that care about me a great deal.
I, Kurtis the Red, was heading to New Orleans, Louisiana for Mardi Gras.